Holy Doughnuts and Lots of Fudge
by rmay
Summary: HOLY DOUGHNUTS! It's another iOMG alternate ending story! I based this more off of humor and Carly's reaction though... Please review and use constructive criticism! Lots of criticism... I don't mind! :   A little Seddieish and Cibbyish... but not really.
1. Chapter 1

**Dear Fanfic Reader,**

**Yes, the "iOMG" alternate/possible endings are everywhere. But I don't see one quite like mine (yet) so I figure I might as well post this. Review please!**

**-rmay**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly. Or Spanish soap operas.**

Carly stared out the window, a shocked expression on her face. Thoughts raced through her head.

She had just watched Sam kiss Freddie. And then they had talked for a minute. And now Freddie had grabbed Sam and they were kissing. Again. And again. And again…

Gibby walked over to Carly, who was trying to get a better view out the window. "Hey, Carly, we need to work on… HOLY DOUGHNUTS! WHAT ARE SAM AND FREDDIE DOING OUT THERE?"

Brad came over to the window, where Carly and Gibby stood in shock. "Have you guys seen Sam and Freddie? I found something on the computer that… Is that Sam and Freddie? What are they… Are they… Uhhh…. Wow."

Spencer had managed to break his way out of the box. "Carly! Gibbster! I will never let you lock me in that _thing_ again! That was the most traumatizing… Whoa! Look at Sam and Freddie! That's even more amorous than daytime Spanish soap operas!" Gibby and Brad both gave Spencer a strange look. Spencer tried to recover. "Not that I watch soap operas. Or use the word "amorous". Or care about romance. Or Sam and Freddie's relationship… yeah…"

There was an awkward silence. Gibby cleared his throat. "So… you guys want to do an activity or something that will let us forget about this?"

"I'm in."

"Me too! Wait! Is that a beavcoon?" Spencer ran out of the room and into the hallway.

"What's a beavcoon?" Brad asked Gibby.

"An animal that has the head of a beaver, and the rump of a raccoon."

"…"

"Hey, I'm just telling you what Spencer told me."

"Eh, okay I guess."

"You wanna go now?"

"Sure. Carly? You coming?" Brad asked. "Uhhh… Carly? You there?" He waved a hand in front of her face.

Gibby poked Carly's arm with a pencil. She didn't respond. "Dude, I think she's broken."

"Huh. So… what should we do with her?"

"Leave her here, I guess."

"Kay. You want some fudge? I have some in my locker."

"O' course!" Gibby and Brad went to go get fudge. Carly was left to stare out the window.

_An hour later…_

"Brad my man, you make good fudge."

"Thanks!"

"No, really, it's a talent. A gift!"

"I've been told that before… Hey, Carly is still here."

Gibby poked her with a pencil again. "Nope, still not responding."

"Should we call a hospital or something?"

"Nah, I've got something like this for emergencies." Gibby pulled out a tape recorder from his back pocket and pressed play. Mandy-the-psychotic-duck-girl's voice filled the air. Carly screamed, took the recorder out of Gibby's hand and smashed it on the ground until the awful voice stopped. She stopped suddenly and, looking surprised, tried to focus on the two boys standing in front of her.

Brad looked confused. "You just keep that thing in your back pocket?" he asked Gibby.

"Yep."

"For emergencies?"

"Yep."

"Does this happen a lot or something?"

Before Gibby could answer, Carly interrupted. "Sam kissed Freddie!"

"We know."

"Sam is in love with Freddie!"

"We know that too."

"Oh." Carly went silent for a moment. "Are they, you know, still out there?"

Brad looked outside. "Yep. But they stopped."

Carly processed this for a moment. She seemed to be making a decision about something. "Guys? Let's pretend that we never saw this, okay?"

"Why?"

"I dunno… it just seems right. Sam and Freddie are probably going to 'never speak of it again', so I feel like we should too."

"But…"

"Must I remind you that Sam has a lot of ex-convicts for relatives? Must I remind you that I can make them hurt you both very badly?"

Brad and Gibby paled.

"Hey, Brad? Do you remember anything that happened in the last forty-five minutes? Because I sure don't."

"Nope, can't remember at all. I think we ate some fudge, but that's about it."

Carly smiled evilly. "Good!" She patted them both on the heads and walked out of the room. Brad and Gibby soon followed.

_Meanwhile…_

"Hey, Sam? Do you think we should tell Carly that we saw her watching us?"

"Nah. Let her worry about it for a little bit."

"Meh, if you say so. When do you want to tell her about… well… us? You know, together?"

"When we go inside."

The sound of crickets filled the air.

"Hey, Sam?"

"Yeah, Fredweird?"

"I think I love you too."


	2. Chapter 2

**Dear Fanfic Reader,**

**So… we meet again. I didn't actually expect anyone to read this story, so I didn't actually noticed that anyone read and reviewed it until, well, about 10 minutes ago. Since I wrote the last chapter after drinking lots and lots of Wild Cherry Pepsi (so… sugary… and… caffeinated…) I bought a 2-liter bottle and now I'm writing this! Yay for the sugar rush! Wooooooo!**

**Thank you to Luv2Laff95, Sankina-chan, for adding to favorites, xxmoodymolexx for alerting, and xol225 for doing both! And as a response to reviews:**

**jhuikmn08: I read your stories, and highly doubt that my one story can be better than all four of yours. But I shall (love that word) read your stories when I finish writing this! (note, I wrote the A/N before I wrote the story…)**

**xxmoodymolexx: I hope the fact that I am about to write a new chapter has shown that I have taken your advice. ;)**

**Sorry this was so long… **

**-rmay**

**Disclaimer: Alas, I do not own iCarly. But if I did I would know how iOMG will end… so I wouldn't be writing this story, would I?**

Holy Doughnuts and Lots of Fudge- Chapter 2

_The Monday after the lock-in…_

"Dude! You gots to tell me why this fudge is so good!"

"I can't do that, Gibby, it's a family secret… plus there's some kind-of illegal addictive sort of stuff in it."

"What was that last part?"

"Nuthin, man, nuthin. You can't prove anything!"

"Oh…kay? Ahh! It's Carly! Hide before she decides to sic Sam's relatives on us!"

"Oh, calm down you two." Carly was annoyed. "Have you two seen Sam and Freddie?"

"No." said Brad.

"Hehehe… why would I have seen them? It's not like I saw them go to the cafeteria or anything…" Beads of sweat appeared of Gibby's face.

"Oh, they're in the cafeteria? Thanks."

Gibby turned to Brad. "I did it again, didn't I."

"Yep."

_In the cafeteria…_

Sam was sitting alone at a table in the cafeteria when Carly confronted her. "Hey, Sam. Where's Freddie?"

"Oh, I'm making the nub go buy me food."

"Didn't you eat breakfast already? I smelt cooked bacon when I walked by your locker this morning."

"So? I was still hungry. And after eating a pound or Brad's fudge too…"

"That is some really good… hey! Don't distract me!"

"Hehehe… sorry. Couldn't resist. Sooo… what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Well… remember the whole 'no secrets' thing?"

"Yeah… why, do you have a secret?"

"Huh? No! Why didn't you tell me that you and Freddie kissed… again? "

"But, it wasn't a secret…"

"Yes, yes it was! You didn't tell me, even though you had all weekend to!"

"But we saw you watching us. You knew, so therefore it wasn't a secret."

"… I didn't think of it like that."

"I didn't think you would…"

Carly cleared her throat. "So… are you and Freddie… uhh… you know… like… going out now?"

Sam took on a serious look. "Actually, you should probably sit down."

"Wha?"

"Me and Freddie are going to elope. We're leaving at the end of the day. Oh, and I think I'm pregnant with his child."

"!"

"Just kidding, but now the fact that we're dating doesn't bother you nearly as much, right?"

"I hate you so much… mostly because I do feel a little better."

"Told you so. Hey, now that me and Frednub are dating, we should find you a boyfriend!"

"I'm with Sam on this one." said Freddie as he joined the two girls at the table. "You know, I think both Brad and Gibby like you."

"Really? We should set Carly up with one of them," said Spencer. "So, which one will it be, kiddo?"

"Spencer? Where did you come from?" asked Sam.

"I…I can't remember." Spencer hung his head in shame. "I think I was- look! A beavcoon! You shall be mine!" Spencer ran out of the school, chasing… something.

"Anyways…" Freddie continued. "Maybe you could ask one of them out. Or maybe they'll ask you out soon. And speaking of Brad and Gibby, here they come now."

"Hi, Carly!" said Brad and Gibby. Brad held a bouquet of roses and a box of fudge. Gibby was shirtless as usual, but had a heart painted on his stomach. "Do you want to go out sometime?" they said simultaneously.

**A/N: In order to avoid confusion, the next part is written as if a play. This should make it easier to read.**

Carly: "Uh… I… er…"

Brad: "I asked you out first!"

Gibby: "No! I did!"

Brad: "I brought her fudge!"

Gibby: "Well, I'm shirtless!"

Brad: "I can be shirtless too!" [takes off shirt]

Carly: "Whoa. Abs…" [gets dreamy look on face]

Freddie: "Should we do something to stop them, Sam?"

Sam: "Nah. You stay here and tell me how it ends. I have… more important matters to attend to." [Sam leaves]

Gibby: "We must fight for Carly's hand!"

Brad: "So it shall be. Meet in the back parking lot at 6pm. Bring your sumo suit.

Carly: "Don't I get any say in this!"

Everyone else: "No."

_6pm: The back lot…_

"Freddork, why did you bring your mom's med kit?"

"Because, Sam, someone could get hurt."

"Aww, you get all cute when your anxious." Sam gives Freddie a peck. Carly's eyes glaze over as she stares off into space in shock.

Freddie cleared his throat. "Maybe we shouldn't show PDA around Carly."

"For once, I think I agree with you. Hey, what are Brad and Gibby wearing."

"Oh, inflatable Sumo Wrestling suits. They're gonna fight for Carly's honor. Or something."

"Why don't they just fight each other straight out? Like when Gibby wanted to fight you because of that whole Tasha thing?"

"…I'm not sure. Hey, where'd you get those doughnuts?"

"Oh, I went to Holy-Os in the dialogue sequence. They're bacon flavored with a ham glaze!"

"Can I have one?"

"…No."

"But I'm your boyfriend!"

"Let me think… no."

"Neh!"

"Neh! Oh look, Carly's snapping out of it. You ok, Carls?"

"Never, ever, kiss in front of me again without warning me!"

"Fine…" Sam and Freddie sighed.

"So…" said Sam, "Have you decided who you want to go out with yet?" She pointed to Brad and Gibby, both of who were lying on the ground in exhaustion."

"Well… if I had to chose, I would say-"

"Hi-Carly-will-you-go-out-with-me!" Griffin yelled.

"Carly is mine! You shall rue the day you tried to ask her out!" screamed Nevel.

"Will you both go away? No one likes you two."

"Meh. Fine." Griffin and Nevel left.

"Sorry, Carls, what were you saying?"

"I think I want to go out with-"

"BEAVCOON! YOU ARE MINE!" Spencer yelled as he ran.

"Uh… I couldn't hear you that time."

"I want to go out with Gibby!"

Silence filled the back lot as Carly's words were heard.

"Really?" Sam laughed.

"Really?" asked Freddie. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Really? NOOOOOOO!" Brad ran away and started to cry.

"Really? You want to go out with me?" Gibby looked shocked.

"Yes, really." said Carly as she took Gibby's hand. "I want to go out with you, Gibby."

**To be continued eventually….**


	3. Chapter 3

**This is the last part of Holy Doughnuts and Lots of Fudge.**

**Dear Fanfic Reader,**

**Sorry I haven't been able to update recently. There's been a lot going on in my life beyond the computer. Plus, I've been kind of sick lately… But I feel mostly better now, so here's the story!**

**Enjoy!**

**-rmay**

**Disclaimer: Yeah… I don't own the show. Sorry.**

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><p>A couple weeks after the events in chapter two, Carly and Sam are talking while sitting on Spencer's sofa. Carly was sitting all proper and lady-like, while Sam had her feet propped up on the coffee table with a box of doughnuts on her lap.<p>

"I still can't believe you're going out with Gibby!"

"Well, you're dating Freddie."

"… Point taken. But still! He's… Gibby."

"Well, now he's _my_ Gibby."

"But what about the Tasha chick? You know, that super hot chick that Gibby is dating?"

"Oh… they're not exclusive. So it's okay!"

"What does that even mean?"

"Huh?"

"Not exclusive… does that mean that Tasha can date other people?"

"Well, yeah… but so far she hasn't dated anyone besides Gibby."

"What is wrong with that chick?"

"What? Gibby is cute, and sweet…"

"Ok… so what's wrong with you?"

"There's nothing wrong with me! My mind is perfectly sound!"

"Says the girl who makes weird noises in small spaces."

"… Fine. But Gibby really is sweet and cute!"

"Riiiiiight…"

"Well, Freddie is a tech-geek!"

"Carly, I am fully aware of that fact. But at least he's a _hot_ tech-geek."

"…"

"Oh, right. You can't think he's hot because you think Gibby is 'cute and sweet!'"

"Well… Freddie _technically_ is my ex, too."

"Oh… yeah… right…"

**-awkward silence-**

"You don't… ummm… still have feelings for him, do you?"

"Oh gosh no! Uh, no offense."

"Fine, but do you ankle swear?"

"Ankle swear. And I'll even swear on a box of Brad's fudge if you want me to."

"That is good fudge… Momma likes fudge… What ever happened to him, anyways?"

"Who, Brad? The last time I saw him was when I rejected him in favor of Gibby."

"Oh yeah! He ran off crying and chizz."

"Speaking of Brad and his fudge… how are we going to get more fudge? I'm starting to get some serious cravings for it…"

"Freddie still talks to him online, sometimes. Maybe he'll know where Brad is. I'll text him." Sam pulled out her PearPhone.

"Yeah, Sam! Go and text your _boyfriend_. Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge."

"… Do that again and you will be hurt."

"Sorry…"

Sam's phone beeped. About five seconds later, Freddie came through the door.

"I can get Brad for us, but you can't question my method, okay?"

"Sure…"

"Whatever, Fredboyfriend."

"That doesn't have the same ring to it…"

"Meh, I'm working on it."

"Focus, ladies! Do you want the fudgey goodness or not?"

"Fudge…"

"Fudge is good…"

"Sam, I need you to stand by the door with… do you have a baseball bat with you?" Freddie asked, turning towards Sam.

"As always." Sam pulled a bat from out of thin air.

"How did you do that?" Carly asked, aghast.

"Don't question Momma's ways."

"Sam! Carly! Focus! Think of the fudge! So, when Brad walks through the door, Sam needs to knock him unconscious with the bat. Carly, you better stand back." Carly did as Freddie instructed and decided to sit at the kitchen table, facing the door.

Freddie suddenly shouted to no one in particular, "Brad's fudge is really good! It's really unnaturally addicting. Do you think he could have added something possibly illegal to it!

As if on cue, Brad ran into the room. "YOU HAVE NO PROOF! YOU CAN'T-" Brad fell to the ground without warning. Sam's bat had done its work well.

"And now, the fudge shall be ours! Mwahahahaha!" Gibby laughed evily.

"Gibby? When did you get here?" asked Carly.

"I'm not really sure…"

"Eh, whatever. So… now what do we do with him?" Sam pointed to the motionless body on the ground. The iCarly gang stared blankly at each other.

Freddie was finally the one to break the silence. 'Err… I didn't plan that far ahead."

"So…"

"Yeah…"

Gibby spoke up. "Maybe we should tie him up and put him in the iCarly studio until he makes more fudge!"

"But doesn't he need his arms to make the fudge?"

"Oh… right…"

_An hour of brainstorming later…_

"Maybe we should just let him go. After all, we already ate all the fudge that he had on him," pointed out Carly.

"Yeah! Let me go!" Brad was tied to a beanbag in the middle of the studio

"But Carls! We need more fudgey goodness!" cried Sam.

"Think of the FUDGE!" shouted Freddie.

"GIBBY!" screamed Gibby. Everyone turned to stare at him. "What? You we're all shouting…" Turning away from the odd looks the group was giving him, Gibby started to mutter to himself. "Gibbies never get to have fun…"

After a moment, Brad spoke up. "I have a deal for you. I'll give you all a lifetimes supply of fudge."

"Yay!"

"BUT there's a catch."

"Awwwwww…"

"Carly? I want," Brad turned to Carly. "A kiss from you."

*dun dun DUNNNNNN!*

Everyone looked at Spencer, who was holding Sam's remote. "Hehehe…. Sorry, I couldn't resist… Stop looking at me like that… Stop it! OH LOOK A DISTRACTION! !" Spencer ran out of the studio screaming.

"Sorry Brad, but I'm not gonna kiss you. You're acting too much like Nevel."

"That creepy kid who wants to make you 'rue' him?"

"Something like that…"

"Oh! I don't want to act like him! Let me think of something else… OH! I know what I want! You see, there have been some... rumors… that have been spreading around about my fudge. And I want them stopped."

"So, what do you want us to do about that?"

"Sam, you have some… convincing… relatives. Do you think they could help me out?"

"That depends… How about giving me TWO lifetime supplies of fudge?"

"SOLD! Now can you guys untie me?"

"Oh, here." Carly undid the knot.

"Now get your butt down to the kitchen and make momma some fudge! Freddicini, you come with me. We've gotta make sure this boy don't try to run." Sam got an evil look on here face as she smacked her bat against her hand. Freddie gulped and followed. Carly and Gibby were left alone in the studio.

"So… Sam and I were talking earlier."

"Uh huh."

"And, she reminded me that you were still in a relationship with Tasha…"

"Actually, I broke up with her this morning."

"Really! Yay!" Carly kissed Gibby on the cheek.

Gibby slung his arm around Carly's shoulders. "I think this is going to turn out well."

"Who are you talking to?"

"Umm… I'm not really sure."

"Ehh… whatever."

**THE END**

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><p>EPILOGUE:<p>

Sam and Freddie are dating on and off. This can be more closely defined as: Sam and Freddie get in a fight. Sam kicks Freddie out of the apartment. Freddie buys doughnuts. Freddie gives them to Sam. Sam and Freddie get back together. Sam and Freddie get in another fight. Sam kicks Freddie out of the apartment. Freddie buys doughnuts… well, you get the point.

Carly broke up with Gibby upon seeing Griffin a few months after they dated. Griffin had allegedly destroyed all of his PeeWee babies. He then whisked Carly away on his motorcycle and rode off into the sunset. However, he neglected to tell Carly that his PeeWee babies had been destroyed by accident, and what he meant by "riding off into the sunset" was driving to the PeeWee Mega Mall to buy more. We can only assume that Carly has since broken up with Griffin, and she has not been seen or heard from since.

Gibby got back together with the crazy hot chick, Tasha. They have since resumed their "not exclusive" relationship.

Brad can be found in any dark ally in Seattle, selling his... questionable... fudge.

Spencer actually managed to catch a beavcoon. He named it George. Too bad he accidently set it on fire and Animal Services took George away from him.

George the Beavcoon has recovered from his Spencer-related injuries, and lives a happy life at the local zoo.

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><p><strong>I'm going to try to write another short story over the summer, but I'm not sure when I'll post it. So, (if you want to) keep an eye out for my name, or follow me as an author!<strong>

**See you eventually!**

**-rmay**


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